There are many things about me you should know but im not at liberty to share...so be happy 2 no me

can someone please explain how you can have morals based on a religiious set of beliefs but not have any knowledge or understanding of the church or any faith for that matter... this has me very confused and otherwise scratching my head in awe and wonder. it didnt occure to me that this was infact the case, i've tried to discuss religion and their veiws on may of the issues that religion and faith questions but they dont even know the story behind easter and christmas, they just sort of have the view that its a fmaily time and its when you give and recieve gifts, they dont understand the underlying reason that it even came about. this is not a problem but should there ever come a time in their life that they need something to turn to that the people around them can't offer they done even have a basic understanding that they can use to guide and help them in their time of need. i mean dont get me wrong im not religious and im probably not the person to be talking to about that but if i ever needed it i ould know where i could find solas.

 

however this is not the the thing that gets me about this person it wuld have to be that they have such a strong moral compass that is obviously guided by an underlying view that is religion. just that there is definately a right and wrong and that everything is on either side of that line... more to the point there are no grey areas in which the line is either fuzzy or misshapen. dont get me wrong i love this person for who they are and the fact that they do know right from wrong but it has occured to me that there are things in this world that cannot be explained and this is not one of them? these things do not just happen out of thin air... they take yeaars people!!!!

 

Okay so i didn't go to work today because i was feeling sick again this morning, I'm thinking ill work in the morning and throw the shift tomorrow afternoon for a couple of reasons... one because i hate working Friday nights, two because i don't really enjoy the staff I've got on tomorrow night, three because i have homework up to my ears and i don't feel like pulling all nighters to try and get it done and four because i have plans this weekend and I'm still not totally better and besides i have sick leave its not like i wont get paid to not be at work... what ever if i don't anyway! i shouldn't have left everything until the last minuet but i guess i wouldn't be a true university student if i didn't it could be worse at least I've got majority of two of my assignments done. which from what i hear is a tad more than most other people have completed at this point. i really enjoy studying most of the time but i think that its just at that point because I'm not feeling 100% that i would rather curl up and crawl away for a period of time where no one can get me and nothing can reach me. do you think its possible?

i tried to update but i cant think of anything more interesting than reminiscing again... seems to be a theme

So i haven't really taken to time to do this of late, and yet whenever i get on a computer the first thing i do it check mindsay after i've looked at my emails. Even when im not supposed to be using the web to stuff around i always seem to make time for the tried and true Mindsay. weird huh? you'd think i would have grown out of it somehow seeing as i haven't really updated properly in such a long time. But alas i still have the bug...

 

my life has taken a turn of events in the last year or two... did you know its been nearly 2 years since i first got contacts, 2 years since i was dating nick, two years since the marist formal and almost 2 years since we finished school?? its all flown by really.. i remember it like it was last week. its hard to belive that 2 years ago we still had our security blanket.. not that i mind much i really like what the world has to offer but these days seeing friends it more of an effort, and finding the time to fit everything in was easier.. this is mainly to do with the fact that we probably had less to do. I've started a new job or 4 in that time, ive moved out of home and then back again, i've started uni, ive made new friends and started hanging out with new people, we've all turned 18 and are now considered adults, some of us have either had really terrible stuff happen to us or someone we love, we grown and changed and set new goals, some of us are where we wanted to be and some of us are not. Although i suspect that those people have made new goals and are heading the way they intended but maybe just didnt know they were destined for. Some of us will make huge changes in the next couple of years and a few of us will stay the same (people will debate that this is either good or bad, although it doesnt matter becasue its not them that's staying stationary) i just hope that we all reach our goals even if its not in the intended time frame or the way we originally planned. They say if you want god to laugh at you then you tell him your plans... i just hope he's not laughing at me.

well i got my grades back on friday and i'd like to say i'm pretty happy with the turn out. I got one distinction, two credits and one pass. im not happy with the pass, only because i felt i did better in that subject than that, but you can't win them all. and as for one of those credits it wasn't what i'd expected really.. more like a pass, i must have acd the second assignment becasue i barely passed the first one.. not totally my fault but still i could have done something about it. I'm happy with these grades becasue it means that i didnt just do enough... well at least it doesnt look like i did.. if i'd done just enough i would have gotten all passes for them, and i certianly didnt do that.

 

i think my family are worried about me at the moment, but im not sure why. they have bigger fish to fry and besides im nearly to old for them to worry about like they used to. my life isnt all roses and sunshine thats for sure but its not as terrible as some people i know. there is always someone worse off and i try to see the bright side of life.. doesnt always work but i can always be sure that there is some positive in evrything. i guess its just good to know they care that they do love me still.

Its like the end of year 12 all over again.. waiting and hoping that all the work paid off! i have one mark which was higher than i thought it would be, thats something i guess. im not as worried about these results as i was in year 12 becasue i at least know i didnt fail anything... year 12 wasn't so certian. only 24 hours to wait now. its not the end of the world, i just want him to be proud of me and prove that he was right all along and it was just me not applying myself. its cha ged i know it has, its not like it was back then, im older and different and the influences in my life have changed... less focused on the unimportant things, and more on the things that matter most.

 

everything is going according to plan even though my plans were changed and i had little say, ever had an offer you couldnt refuse... i did and im glad i took it i just hope that i can actually make a difference and that the things that are happening are not just because they were forced.. but becasue its for the benifit of all.

 

im losing touch with the past and moving forward... there arnt enough hours in the day to make it all fit.

 

 

i'm feeling awfully starry eyed at the moment... it may have something to do with the outting last night but i'm kinda feeling lost. someone described it as 'knowing... when you have become one of those people you hate... the ones that emplify everything you wish you could rid the world of.' and im going to agree with them... i honestly wish i wasn't feeling this way it would make things far less complicated and far easier to understand, but on the otherhand its a feeling most people long to feel and i can't say i would change it anyway. i guess its called not getting your own way all the time.

good morning, its crappy weather and i feel like ive been hit by a road train... for no other reason that that fact that i am lacking in sleep. it probably had something to do with not having somewhere to stay until the last minute.. i feel bad i bailed on Anaka and Lory's party but i had my reasons and i did make an appearance and not ditch it completely. its weird im just not in the mood for partying like we did when we were in college, its annnoying really casue i feel like i cant just let go....